Be kind, be gentle

Why do we find it so easy to carelessly and, or spitefully cast words at others that fall just as heavy as any stone into someone’s heart?

Don’t get me wrong…I, myself am far from perfect and sometimes I have to consciously remind myself to be kind, be gentle with how I treat others. But I still slip into the socially and more accessible norm of judging others. Others I know nothing, or next to nothing about. Because that’s easier right…? It absolves me from the second I drop my better self (the me I know and deep down want to be, to present to the world-to start righting the wrongs of it, from leading by example..), to belittle and negate the meaning of someone else’s existence. Someone else’s journey.

Their shoes don’t fit me. It doesn’t mean they’re any less a work of art. Whether shoe zone, JC Penny, or Louboutins…. What suits one, maybe more, maybe many, won’t suit all.

This is why we shouldn’t judge, shouldn’t assume, and shouldn’t sabotage each other. We all have a life, that’s worth living, the good and the bad. We all add meaning to it. We all face darkness and we all bring our light to illuminate that darkness and reach a guiding light into its unknown depths to give strength and hope to those who stray from their path, who lose sight of the shore…who temporarily lose their way.

Why that’s what I’d hope to do, be for those that are lost. If I’m not going to help you, then I damn as hell don’t have the right to put my efforts into making your life harder, more unbearable to sustain. Life is hard. It always has the potential to get worse. Certainly before it gets better. And we are in it for the long haul. So when we know how it feels when the chips are down, why cast stones at others…it’s not a competition; literally no-one gets out of this crazy little thing called life alive.

If I am lost, I’d rather hope that someone will reach down and help me back to my feet no matter how self-sufficient and independent I am, like to believe. And that comes in a wonderfully rounded off way of thinking; if you’re down, I will help you to stand back up, as no doubt you would me…and vice versa. To stand tall, proud and strong.

We all desire similar things in our lives, goals, hopes, and dreams. And we share similar values and fears…we all hate, we all love, we all laugh, we all cry…we feel joy and we feel pain…

So before you act/say…think. A moment on your lips; to the ears and minds of another is a lifetime in their heart and soul. It’s lasting damage. A legacy. Yours. And theirs. But they are innocent in the scars such thoughts and feelings live in.

Traced in the scar tissue from your words that whisper throughout a life.

Personally I don’t see why its so hard to be kind, be gentle, be generous of spirit, rich in kindness. I am a woman and I can’t help but notice this applies woman to woman in particular. We view every one of our gender as competition. As a scale of beauty and success (definitely in THAT order!) to measure ourselves against. That and the judgement of others…I am so guilty of THIS! I hate that in myself. I know it’s wrong. And knowing seek to change and challenge this misinformed and detrimental thought process.

Instead I wish to replace such things with positivity, empowerment, support, understanding, appreciation (of self and others) but most of all with KINDNESS and respect. This acknowledges every struggle, the true and lasting beauty, the honesty, the rare and unique perfection and flaws of each woman, each person, each human being. As they are all a reflection of myself. And I want myself to feel strong, confident, brave, intelligent, funny, honest, respected, kind, generous, graceful, and beautiful.

I want to be comfortable in my own skin. I want to feel. I want to accept, support and encourage.

I want all of me to be reflected in others.

I want all of them to be reflected in me.

People be careful of throwing stones in glass houses. The world we live in, its literally a greenhouse. So lets grow. Together. Strong. And beautiful.

 

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EATING FROGS

 

AVOID PROCRASTINATION-EAT YOUR FROG

Not literally, just a term my Aunt (the voice of reason du jour) uses to overcome/combat (because for me it IS a battle)…PROCRASTINATION. HATE IT. CAPS ALL THE WAY ON THIS…ETC

See even using caps and writing this, my first blog piece is a form of me declining to ‘eat any frogs’ and opt for some Haribos in a bowl, don’t worry its got eggs inc so this is what I call breakfast…oh look there’s even tea. 🙂

Some of you may already know the term, and the idea behind it is to get those humongous, looming, most difficult or even time consuming tasks done before any of the others. enabling you to then work your way down the tasks descending via difficulty rating-the complete opposite of any console game I’ve ever had the pleasure to play and aid me in my life pursuit-(here it comes…) PROCRASTINATION.

The benefits are supposed to outweigh the cons; facing your nemesis for the BOSS BATTLE;-CON,

In order to reach the end goal of everything getting easier leading through to completion over all those tasks that hold you tied down to the DEATHTRACK-aka TRAINTRACK of that classic movie scene;-PRO

-HERO constricted by a BOA CONSTRICTOR or dependent on budget and a lack thereof by a measly but no less immobilising rope, as a train is heading straight for you *crash, bang, wallop, ouch, crack, splatter*…THE END.

If you can’t escape in time. *pauses to gain life by eating a few haribo hearts, it works in SuperMario right?* Sooooo I’ve gained life chances, now to face the tasks due by deadlines* (train!), depending on budget a constrictive item (PROCRASTINATION!), HERO (me!)…

However simple it sounds, and just how many movies exist where the Hero somehow manages to disengage themselves from the DEATHTRACK…FOR ME not to turn into a denial ridden human being is tricky as….some ancient genius’ mathematical theory; solvable but no less riddled with ?????

I will do all in power to try and divert from the DEATHTRACK (lots of death and danger in this post.. in real life one hopes these are a lot less literal in regards to PROCRASTINATION…) I will overbook myself; going out with friends, training courses, visiting family (this is in no particular order by the way!), tidying up my room (things I’d normally avoid, or that can wait if I’m being honest)…-aaaand when I actually switch on my laptop…-the classic looking for jobs I have no intention of applying for, checking emails, opening every newsletter I’m subscribed to-needlessly *sighs*, signing petitions…signing MORE….scheduling appointments (the dentist, the doctor, the therapist**, the gynaecologist) organising my inbox et al…it goes on and on and ON!

And now blogging!

Well now I’ve procrastinated enough…I think I shall attempt to do the impossible and drink my tea…shoot see I still have my hands metaphorically tied, I’m drinking my tea like a cat!  I need to just stop writing about it and do what I’m meant to be doing first-eating my FROG. Not in France but in ENGLAND. London. Wish me luck and deliver me from PROCRASTINATION!

 

*deadlines-see even the words associated with procrastinating are quite devastating and life threatening…

**therapist-because I clearly need help with coming to terms with just how bad my denial is when it comes to procrastinating and dealing with things…that I know need to get DONE.